Part 1: Being Diagnosed With Cancer

Life Before Cancer

Spring 2003
I was at work one night, at the time I was working at BP on the graveyard shift. I hadn't long started work and I finally had a quiet moment so I stood behind the counter and just relaxed. I am not sure what made me touch my shoulder but for some reason I did and I felt this lump and I honestly had no idea what it was. I was able to move it around freely and there was only pain if I pushed it up against the bone. I said nothing to anybody for almost a year and only really thought about it after getting out of the shower sometimes if I spotted the lump in the mirror. I wondered if it was anything serious and whether I should say something to someone but I wasn?t that concerned I had bigger things to worry about in life so I just put it to the back of my mind. In the next year I left my job at BP and went to work at the Lorneville Freezing Works in Invercargill as a seasonal job, BP then took me back on a part time over the off season.

This is me during the Winter of 2004, I had just recently moved into a new flat and made a new group of friends and everything in my life was looking positive.

This is me with my friends Mike (left) and Matt (right). They were my workmates, flatmates and just good mates.

21 August 2004
During the evening of this day my friend Aimee and I went around to see Aimee's mother, RaeAnne. While I was visiting Aimee's 4 year old brother, Beni, thought it would be fun to stand on my shoulders. His weight applied pressure on the lump and pressed the lump against the bone and this felt painful I put Beni down and told Aimee and RaeAnne that it was too painful to have him stand on my shoulder because there is a lump there. Straight away RaeAnne wanted to see this lump and everyone was wondering what the lump could be, Aimee and RaeAnne were telling me to get to the doctor as soon as possible. I had a think and said that if I go to a doctor now the doctor would probably hold me in hospital and I won't be able to go on our trip to Christchurch that I really wanted to go on in two weeks time. In the end I told them I would go to the doctor when I got back from Christchurch. RaeAnne told me she would be pestering me if I didn't go to the doctor as soon as we got back.

14 September 2004
We arrived home very late from our trip to Christchurch the night before so once I was up today I made a call to the doctor and asked to make an appointment, the earliest he could get me in was the following day, I then sent RaeAnne a text so she knew I had an appointment to see the doctor.

15 September 2004
I went to see my GP, Doctor Rillstone and started telling him how for the past few weeks I had a real bad cough and what seemed to be an ongoing flu. I then told him that I have this lump on my shoulder and would he have any idea what it might be. After he removed my top he seemed quite concerned and gave it a bit of move around and then arranged for me to have an appointment with the health lab for a biopsy using a fine needle aspiration. I returned home from the doctor, at the time I was living with my parents on a temporary basis since we had problems in my flat and all had to move out. Matt and Aimee came round to visit and Aimee asked me that day if I had told my parents yet about the lump, I had told mum that I was going to the doctor but she assumed this was only for my ongoing cough and flu. I told both mum and dad I have a lump on my shoulder and that it had been there for nearly a year. I told them I wasn't too concerned and that is why I hadn't said anything; I could see real worry on their faces and they were just wondering what it could be.

16 September 2004
During the day I had my needle biopsy, I was working at BP this day and my boss was kind enough to let me leave work so I could go have the biopsy. The doctor who did the biopsy looked at the lump and started moving it around and commented on how the lump was moveable and the doctor made the comment that it does not appear to be attached to the bone, I guess that is some relief. The doctor then jabbed a needle into the lump and took a blood sample, afterwards I was able to return to work. I told my boss how my appointment was for a biopsy to find out what this lump is that has been on my shoulder for the past year is, my boss just asked me why I didn't go see the doctor sooner. I just said I wasn't too concerned about it.

23 September 2004
A week after seeing my GP I get a phone call telling me that they have no idea what the lump is but it has been arranged in two weeks to have the lump removed and then doctors can determine what it is once removed. I was told I would only need to take one day off work to have the surgery. I thought this seemed a good enough way of doing things at least then if the lump is out of me it can not cause any harm and if it comes up as nothing serious then I should have nothing more to worry about as the lump would already be gone. At this stage I had moved back into my flat with Matt and Aimee so I gave mum a call and told her that I should get surgery in two weeks to remove the lump.

8 October 2004
Two weeks had passed and I had heard nothing from the doctor about surgery and at this stage my mother rang me to tell me that she had been getting in contact with both Southland Hospital and my GP to find out why we hadn't heard about the surgery. The hospital staff member told my mum that no one will be getting any surgery for the next month because Southland Hospital was closed with them shifting into the new hospital, you could only get surgery if it was an emergency. I wasn't too concerned as this lump had been there for so long and it didn't look that much bigger from when I first noticed it so my thoughts were that a month wouldn't make much difference although I did want all this over before going back to the freezing works as I didn't want to miss work and the money I make during the season. My mother had different thoughts and was trying ways to get the surgery done privately.

19 October 2004
Still not hearing anything from anyone my mother was getting quite concerned during this time it appears that the lump had definitely grown and it now seemed that it was hard up against the bone and my skin. My mother rang the doctor and then me at work and told me I had an appointment at 3 to see the doctor which meant finishing early. I told my doctor the lump had grown and asked when the surgery would be, after examination he started to make some calls and told me I should have an appointment with the hospital in a week where a doctor would look at the lump.

29 October 2004
I finally got my appointment to see Doctor Rageeb at Southland Hospital and he told me he reckoned the lump was attached to the bone, I told him this can't be right since the doctor who examined it when I had the needle biopsy told me it could be moved freely. He said it would be too dangerous for him to operate and that he would order a CT scan immediately to get better idea what we were dealing with.

15 November 2004
I had my CT scan at Southland Hospital the scan ended up taking 3 hours because it broke down and they had to call Auckland for instructions on how to fix the problem. Afterwards I was supposed to have a consultation with one of the doctors. While lying there on the CT I kept thinking the worst and they would tell me it was something really serious that I may only have so long to live. The consultation never took place.

24 November 2004
It had now been nearly 10 days since the CT scan and my mother was starting to get concerned as to why there had been no result, personally myself I was still hung up in everything else that was on in my life and wasn't that concerned again. My mother called the hospital and wanted some answers about the CT scan. The matter had now been taken over by Doctor Fosbender and it turns out he wouldn't be able to see me for two weeks because he was supposed to be going on holiday the next day but after much persuasion from my mother we managed to get an appointment at his private clinic at Southern Cross Hospital in Invercargill. He looked at the CT scan result and told myself and my parents there appeared to be a lot of fluid build up like a cyst and that the lump appeared to be benign but he wasn't sure, this really put my mind at ease for now. He told us he didn't want any "clown" removing this lump and worse case scenario would be surgery at Middlemore Hospital in Auckland otherwise if it was nothing serious he would perform the surgery himself. To be certain the lump was not attached he ordered an MRI scan and told us that if we didn't get it in a week to pester them until you get it. He also told us he would like to do another biopsy under general anaesthetic and remove a sample from the lump for testing.

7 December 2004
I finally got my MRI scan at Southland Hospital the reason why it took more than a week was because the hospital told us the scanner was out of action so they could equip it to handle babies, the MRI scanner was a new addition to the new Southland Hospital. The MRI scanner was very loud so they placed headphones on me and played me music through a radio while I waited, I think having music playing took my mind off the fact that I was in a small enclosed space and this made the time pass faster.

8 December 2004
I got a call early in the morning from the freezing works telling me that I could return to work in a week and the same day I gave BP my notice again. At this point I just wanted the surgery to be left until after the New Year and let me concentrate on getting back to work and having a happy Christmas and New Years.

12 December 2004
Today was my last day at BP I noticed a real pain in my shoulder after I opened the shop and dragged out all the trolleys onto the forecourt. It really concerned me and I knew that soon I would have to be operated on.

14 December 2004
I had my induction in the morning at the freezing works and all went well I was getting quite excited about going back to work as this was to be my second season and it was like now I was no longer a "newbie" to the job there would have been hundreds of new people start after me. After arriving home I took it easy at my flat over the rest of the morning my mum then turned up and asked where I had been, I told her I had just started work. Mum told me the hospital had been in contact and they would perform the biopsy this week. My first thought was "not now" it had been 3 months of waiting from when I first saw my GP and I wanted to get back to work and settled there again. A letter arrived at lunch time from the hospital confirming what mum had told me, I was to go into hospital the following morning to speak to the doctors before the biopsy which would be in two days.

15 December 2004
I went into hospital and was admitted that day but allowed to go home and even to work that night. I spoke to Doctor Fosbender and the house surgeon and was told if the lump could be removed easily or it looked nothing serious they would do so then and there, otherwise a small chunk would be removed for further analysis. I had my first night back at work and showed my boss the letter from the hospital and she allowed me to have the following 2 days off.

16 December 2004
Mum took me to the hospital early in the morning and I ended up being left in the single room to sleep all morning since I finished work at 2AM the night before. At around 11AM I was taken to the surgery to have my biopsy. Doctor Fosbender arrived and he had a quick talk with me and told me it wouldn't take too long as they were only going to open up the area and remove a small chunk of the lump. I was then taken into theatre and had the anaesthetic injected into me and was gassed before I knew it I was asleep. I woke up from the surgery at around 2 in the afternoon and was taken back to the ward where I could rest I was now in a shared room and I just wanted to sleep but that wasn't possible with everyone in the room talking. The lump is still there and all that has been done is a biopsy. Matt and Aimee came and visit and bought me a toy crocodile to sit on my bedside and this has been on my bedside during all my treatments. During the afternoon, a CT scan was taken of my full body I had no idea why at the time but this was done to ensure nothing had spread to any other parts of my body.
I stayed at the hospital overnight and was woken up every hour to have my blood pressure, pulse and temperature taken so I did not get much sleep that night.

17 December 2004
I was awoken at 7 in the morning after having breakfast placed in front of me and the curtains pulled I just wanted to sleep. I was taken down to the x-ray department at 8 to have radioactive dye injected into me for my bone scan that was taken later that afternoon. While waiting for the bone scan Doctor Fosbender came and saw me and had a talk he told me,
"We are treating this as the worst possible outcome and that results had been sent to Middlemore and Christchurch Hospital."
I asked when I would be ok to return to work and he told me not to go back on Monday even after rest over the weekend. This surprised me as all I had was a biopsy and I remember being told that I would be able to go back to work the following day after my surgery, when I eventually get it. After the full body bone scan I was discharged and I stayed the night at my parents.

21 December 2004
I rang Doctor Fosbender and asked if I was fine to go back to work and his response was that I was not go back to work and he wouldn't tell me when I was allowed to, instead I was just told to go onto a Sickness Benefit. I then asked for a medical certificate that I could give to my boss explaining why I can not work and he told me to come in for an appointment in two days.

Next Page: The Diagnosis